Old one: Top Slizz of 2004

Holy shit.... there were boatloads of new scorchers that emerged in 2004 - from 14 year-olds (Jamie-Lynn Spears) all the way up to 40 year-olds (Diane Lane is the hottest fuckin' 40 year old on the planet - Teri Hatcher, anyone?) Slootz came in all shapes and sizes - most of our eyes were glued to those tall and thin (Paris, Klum), yet we also didn't hesitate to embrace the more petite females possessing unfathomable sweater cows (Lohan, Ricci). Nonetheless, it was a hell of a year for females - I personally know this because for the first time in my 24 years, I've AVERAGED more than one beating session per day. Whereas, historically and habitually it's a few times a week - with all the scorchers flaunting it this year, double digits per 7 were inev.

Let me now present to y'all my Fav of last year - she is supple, and she is ruth: Angelina Jolie

Obviously. If one disagrees, either he/she has a wicked stigmatism and/or loves fat thumbs in his/her butt while scarfing down an extra large penis cocktail. She's superhuman - with the body of a Roman Goddess and the sexual veracity of a coked up Quagmire. Her lips are sick, 'itties perf, legs go on for weeks, and undoubtedly has the smoothest, tightest clam one can imag. Furthermore, every dude who's ever co-starred in a flick with her..... drilled her. Brad and Jen v. Jolie. WINNER = JOLIE. No one can resist this mountain of lust - in fact, I'm gonna go crank one to Gia right now. Ladies and gentlemen - pay your respects, and I'll see you on the flip with a giant grin on my face... and a fat load on my stomach.